MY STORY
I coach people on how to experience the absolute greatest version of themselves in their lives. How to feel their feels, honor their dreams, and call in their deepest desires. And I only know how to do this because I have walked the exact opposite path, in so much pain and unworthiness and stuckness, and have come out the other side transformed.
As the eldest daughter of four, I did what many eldest daughters did to survive - become hyper responsible for everyone and everything around me. To the point of wanting to save the world, thinking that if I did that then maybe, just maybe, I would be okay. So I did that - always hyper aware of what everyone else was thinking and feeling - and codependently hoping that if I cared for them, then somehow they would care for me. (All without communicating this).
I grew up super super evangelical Christian (I was the worship leader of the high school BAND) and I felt even more pressure to live this perfect life. I thought that if I did everything the Christian God said to do (don’t have sex, completely sacrifice all your desires at the whims to the church, not care for self) then somehow I wouldn’t get hurt. But starting in my early 20s, I was starting to realize that the Christian life wasn’t all it was cracked up to be…
So I closed off my heart and I was fully committed to be The Smart One. I got deeply immersed in radical politics and tried to change the world. I biked across the country and led a bike tour in Europe for teens. I got a master’s degree from NYU’s art school and exhibited work globally. I gave dozens of talks at Ivy league universities and did residencies around the world. I worked for the UN for a time, and traveled back and forth to East Africa often. I’ve consulted for startups, community groups, and companies. I worked in advanced innovation at one of the biggest streaming services…
….and yet…..I was miserable
FINDING HEALING, GROWTH, LOVE AND PURPOSE
In 2017, when I was working far away from home on a radical political project, my body started to break down. And I realized that I was trying to save everyone else but deep down inside I wasn’t happy. I realized that I was never going to fall in love because I didn't know how to emotionally connect to my heart. I didn’t know how to love or trust myself or my body. I came face to face with the realization that no one else could ever make me happy, and that it was I that needed to change.
And so, slowly but surely, I made small steps in the direction of self-love. I cried and sobbed and screamed and puked my guts out with plant medicines. I dove deep into work with tantra. I joined group therapy. I did so many other forms of healing modalities.
I was starting to realize, that what they were saying was true. Happiness is actually an inside job. And my insides really needed a lot of attention.
I started to notice that when I thought that anything else could save me from the feelings I was feeling, that I was self-abandoning.
And now, I can truly say that I deeply love and trust myself. I honor my needs. And I'm here to stand for you finding your own form of deep happiness and fulfillment.
